Funny Confucius Quotes and Jokes About Work

Check out these funny Confucius quotes and sayings with images! You may have read some Confucius quotes before, but this post is all about the funny ones. Get ready to have a good laugh!

Confucius, a Chinese philosopher, politician, and teacher, belonged to China. His teachings, preserved in the analytics, focus on creating ethical models of family and public interaction as well as setting educational standards.

Confucius’s jokes are concise and straightforward, while his sayings often convey multiple meanings of different words. Funny Confucius quotes never fail to make me laugh, so I thought I would share them with you as well.

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Funny Confucius Quotes

“Man who cuts himself while shaving loses face.”

“Confucius says, ” man who keeps head on ground have trouble putting on pants.”

 “War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.”

 “Man who drives like hell, bound to get there.”

 “Wise man does not play leapfrog with a unicorn.”

A man who fishes in another woman’s well often catches crab

“He who has a sharp tongue cuts his own throat.”

Funny Confucius Quote

 “Man who sits on tack gets points!”

 “A bird in the hand makes hard to blow nose.”

 “He who put face in punch bowl get a punch in the nose.”

 “Man who jumps off a cliff jumps to conclusions!”

 “A woman who spends much time on bedspring may get offspring.”

 “A man stuck in the pantry has ass in jam.”

 “When called an idiot, better to be quiet than open mouth and remove all doubt.”

“Man who walks with nose in the air very easy to hook.”

 “He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.”

Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night

“Man who put their heads on railroad tracks to listen for trains is likely to end up with splitting headaches.”

“Chinese couple who have white baby, name it Sum Ting Wong.”

“The wise man does not keep a sledgehammer and slow computer in the same room.”

“Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.”

 “Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.”

It’s good to meet girl in park, but better to park meat in girl.

 “Man who eats a photo of father, soon spitting image of the father.”

 “The inventor of shag carpet makes a big pile.”

 “Man who pushes the piano down the mineshaft gets the tone of an A-flat minor.”

 “A prostitute who likes bondage, strapped for cash.”

 “Man who falls in a vat of molten glass makes a spectacle of himself.”

Confucius says man who stand on toilet high on pot.

Funny Confucius Quotes About Work

“He who works for his own interests will arouse much animosity. ”

“It is not the failure of others to appreciate the abilities that should trouble you, but rather your failure to appreciate theirs.”

 “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

funny Confucius quote about work

“Although your father and mother are dead, if you propose to yourself any good work, only reflect how it will make their names illustrious, and your purpose will be fixed.”

 “A man who works all day for a pool maintenance company will feel drained.”

“The superior man examines his heart, that there may be nothing wrong there, and that he may have no cause for dissatisfaction with himself. That wherein the superior man cannot be equaled imply this — his work which other men cannot see.”

“Confucius Say man who keeps feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants.”

“Those people who develop the ability to continuously acquire new and better forms of knowledge that they can apply to their work and to their lives will be the movers and shakers in our society for the indefinite future.”

 “The parent’s age must be remembered, both for joy and anxiety.”

 “Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as a spectator.”

I hope you like these best real amusing Confucius quotes collections. If you are depressed then these quotes will help you to laugh and feel comfortable.

Confucius also has a great humor sense also. Share your favorite Confucius joke below in the comment section.


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